Blame the Mothers!

Some of you may have heard of the drama triangle. I was reminded of it recently while traveling when I received individual notifications from each of my children to tell me they were fighting with one of the other siblings. I should point out that all 3 of my kids are now officially adults, but no matter what age, a mother hates to hear her children aren’t getting on.

Lesson here — they were so used to bringing me in to mediate that it had become a problem.

Introducing the Drama Triangle.

Seems I was needing to be needed as a mother, and hence playing the Rescuer role way too much. To empower my children, I must let go of that need, and help them step out of their perceived roles as victims (needing someone else to fix it) and persecutors (everyone else is wrong).

They say if you truly love someone, set them free.

Can you apply this same lesson at work? What role do you play in the workplace? If you arethe rescuer, how can you empower your team to resolve their own problems?

In practice, we aren’t just one of these roles. Many of us are constantly switching between all three, even in one conversation (particularly if it involves complaining, soothing, whingeing and a few demands)! 😂

The title of this article was in jest. It won’t fix anything by blaming someone else. So how do we free ourselves from this triangle?

Watch next time there appears to be even minor conflict. What roles are others playing? How do you respond to that? The first step to staying out of the Drama Triangle is awareness. Once you can recognise the triangle as it’s happening then you can avoid the classic behaviours that fuel the drama.

Let’s save the drama for the stage and screen.